Interview with Dawn Khosravi-Amos
On Creative Outlets in Early Motherhood
This week I interview Dawn Khosravi-Amos, a friend very close to my heart, about finding creative outlets in early motherhood. Dawn shares about how important creativity is to her and how helpful creative projects have been during anxious times in particular. She also reflects on how being a mother of two young kids has challenged and enhanced her creativity, and how creativity can bridge the gap of years.
Q. Tell me about the role of creative projects in your life.
I’ve been thinking about creativity a lot recently, and I honestly feel like it’s the most important thing to me besides the people I love. It’s almost everything. I think everything that I really love about myself either stems from or leads to a creative place. And using my creativity is the thing that keeps me sane in a way. The anxiety that can sometimes haunt me completely falls away in those moments; I feel the most connected to myself and to spirit.
I saw this thing somewhere that we all have this neutral being inside of ourselves that can kind of just watch the ebb and flow of life go by—even the experiences that are tough and painful. I think when I’m being creative, I am that neutral being. Which sounds like a weird thing, kind of boring maybe, but there’s something really beautiful about that. It’s being in that state of flow where things just move and you don’t have to think, which is good for me because I’m an overthinker. My brains tops talking, and I can just be.
I read this quote by Deepak Chopra recently, and it’s been on my mind ever since – “the best use of imagination is creativity. The worst use of imagination is anxiety.” This really speaks to me, and I’ve been tapping into this idea as a force for positive change in my life.
Q. What role have creative projects played since becoming a mother?
It’s been an interesting transition. I felt for a period of time like that was a piece of me that I had lost. Not completely, but more than I hoped to, as things in my life changed dramatically. But I’ve come to realize more and more how necessary creativity is for me in my life, and I’ve come back to working on creative projects. They feel almost more necessary to me now than they were prior to motherhood.
I have any number of things I’m working on at any one time. I have a book of poetry that I work on off and on all the time. And some various ideas for children’s books that I work on. A few other writing projects. And a lot of house projects—as you know, I love building furniture and fixing up furniture, interior design in general. Building and changing things is a source of great creativity for me. Organization too.
One of the biggest sources of creativity that has changed for me since becoming a parent is with the kids. I really believe that being creative is one of the most underrated qualities of a good parent. Especially with toddlers. There’s a lot of defiance with toddlers, and it’s interesting because one of the things mine respond to the most is creativity. When they say that they don’t want to go down the hall to their room for bed, I can say, “do you want to slither like a snake or hop like a kangaroo”? They eat it up. The more creative I can be, the more drastically the defiance levels go down. That’s been an interesting realization—that creativity is a really big asset in parenting.
Q. What has been hard about motherhood for your creativity?
Mostly the really obvious things. Lack of time is the biggest one. Related to that, it’s hard sometimes to get in a state of flow.
Q. What have you found that has worked?
I’m still in the process of finding what works, but making sure to carve out time for it. I think one of the biggest challenges for me can be that I often don’t feel that I can really be creative until other things are in order, and that’s always a struggle as a parent. So learning to let some of that go and just work on something creative for a while guilt-free. The most helpful thing is having a back and forth with your partner where you give them time and they give you time. At certain times we’ve been better about that than others.
Q. Are there ways we haven’t talked about that motherhood has enhanced your creativity?
Definitely. My writing in particular gained a new depth after having kids. Not to say it would work this way for everyone of course. But for me personally, I look at my writing before becoming a mother versus after, and I feel like it went from 2D to 3D. I think becoming a parent changes you so deeply that there is no way for it not to affect in some way the things that you create.
Q. Say more about 2D to 3D—how do you notice that difference?
I don’t know exactly how to describe it. I have always been a deeply feeling person, but there’s a depth of feeling that exists now that didn’t exist before.
Q. I remember so well the letter you wrote me about the experience of being a parent when I was in the decision-making process. I felt the depth you are talking about in that letter.
I remember crying as I wrote it to you, just with the intensity. A big part of that is that I wrote it for you, but I addressed it to my daughter. So as I was writing it, I really tapped into the intensity of the love you feel for a child that is like nothing else that exists in the world. When you can tap into that in a creative endeavor, there’s something really beautiful about that. It’s like how J.R.R. Tolkien wrote Lord of the Rings as a bedtime story for his children—that’s not the whole story, but the book was inspired by them, and he created this world for them. When he passed away, I remember reading statements by his children about how he had been such a father and friend to them.
People have different ideas about being friends with children, I know, but I certainly strive to, and I think creativity is something you can use as a parent to help you get there. It can bridge the gap of years and bring people together. My mom always used creativity in our lives—my mom is an incredibly creative person—and it was so enriching to everything we did. It helped her be such a fun parent and friend to me. I hope to be that way too.
Q. That idea of creativity bridging the gap of years is really interesting. It can be a universal connector.
Yeah, it really is.
Q. What are some things you hope your kids will say about how you raised them?
I hope they will say that I was their lifelong friend. That I was fun. That there was nothing I was afraid to talk to them about. That there was nothing they were afraid to talk to me about. That they always felt how incredibly deeply I love and adore them. And I hope my kids believe that I encouraged them to use their creativity in every part of their lives—I don’t think it has to be things we traditionally see as the arts. Creativity can exist in so many different jobs and hobbies. In the way we think and operate.
Q. Looking back at the end of your life, what role would you like creativity to have played?
I think I would want to be able to say that creativity inspired and informed everything I did that was meaningful to me. That it fed my soul and spirit, and helped me to live deeply and intentionally. When I return to work, however and whatever that may be, I want it to be in a way that is really utilizing my creativity. I’m not sure yet how that will manifest.
Q. Anything we haven’t talked about that comes to mind around all this?
The only other thing I would add is that I think children are so naturally creative. Creativity is their lifeblood, from their imaginative play to basically everything that they do. And I think that’s an interesting thing to note because it’s something that exists at the deepest level in all of us. But there is something about society that squelches it out of some people, which is really unfortunate. It’s really such an essential part of every being, and it’s so important to hold onto that and to help our children hold onto that too.
Dear reader: You matter! If you’d like to share what you found meaningful or interesting in this interview, please drop me a line at hello@logansteiner.com. I’ll pass any kind words along to Dawn. Also, please reach out by email if you are interested in being interviewed on a decision related to creativity or becoming a parent and how you are sorting through it.
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