Interview with Chelsea Williams
On Becoming a Parent and Starting a Podcast
This week I sat down with my friend Chelsea Williams to talk about her decisions to become a parent and, more recently, to start a new creative endeavor—a wonderful and vulnerable podcast called The People You Keep about Chelsea’s and her co-host Janelle’s journeys through grief, motherless motherhood, and wellness. Chelsea has a high-powered day job as Vice President of Corporate Development at Taproot Energy Partners. She has always found it important to balance her highly analytical work life with creative pursuits in her free time, as we discuss more in our interview.
Q. Were you ever uncertain about becoming a parent?
Yes, very uncertain. In my teens and for most of my 20s, people would ask me if I wanted kids, and my kneejerk reaction was “no.” I was probably a little brash and judgmental in my response—in reality, I was more undecided. I married my husband Randy when I was 25, and in part my reluctance was about timing in life. It felt too early to be thinking about kids.
I also lost my mom when I was 23, and for a while after that, I wasn’t willing to look at what motherhood might mean for me. Subconsciously, it wasn’t something I was ready to explore.
It wasn’t until I was 29 or 30 that I asked myself the question for real, and for the first time, I felt my intuition say yes. Then I got curious about why I had a visceral reaction in the past and always been a hard no. I started to realize that I was conditioned to believe that being a mother made you weak. I thought the most important thing a woman could do with her life was have a high-powered career and make money— I was highly susceptible to the female empowerment movement of the 90s, and I think my attitude towards motherhood was an unintended negative consequence of that messaging. I started to listen to myself, and what I actually thought was true challenged the false stories I’d been told. I came to realize that becoming a mother is one of the most sacred and strongest things you can do as a woman.
Q. Do you remember a specific moment when you made the decision?
Mostly I was doing this whole reflection process on my own, in my journals, and I hadn’t really shared my feelings with Randy. I remember we went to dinner at Uchi in Denver in August 2020 when the Covid restrictions first lifted, and I was so scared to bring it up. I told him I’d been thinking about having kids and thought we could do it. In the past, we’d talked about having kids maybe in our late 30s, so this was accelerating the timeline quite a bit. But Randy was really excited and happy. I felt a sense of relief saying my desire to have kids out loud, especially when it felt like I was changing my mind. Something Randy and I talked about at that dinner was the idea of feeling like we truly experienced all the depths and ranges that life has to offer. We felt that not having kids meant we would miss out on many amazing life experiences. We decided that we wanted to experience it all, as individuals, a couple, and as a future family.
Q. How do you think about creative pursuits and becoming a parent?
I have an entrepreneurial spirit, so I’ve always had a creative side hustle. For a while, it was a jewelry-making business. Then I had a goal-setting planner company for a few years.
I’ve always known that I need a creative outlet to feel fulfilled since my job in finance is so analytical. But I didn’t necessarily think about how becoming a parent would impact my creativity. I innately knew I would figure it out along the way. Bringing my daughter into the world has given me fun new creative outlets, like designing her nursery and painting a mural wall in her playroom in the basement.
Q. Where did your entrepreneurial and creative spirit come from?
I was the kid obsessed with crafts, painting, and creating things. I remember winning hysterical art fairs as a kid; I go back and can’t believe that what I made won. I was never an amazing artist, but I’ve always been really curious and willing to try things. I’m not willing to try extreme sports, but I am willing to put myself out there when it comes to creative endeavors.
I’ve also always been really academic, and I loved all subjects in school—both the analytical and the creative ones. I’ve noticed I feel most balanced when I can be analytical and creative in the same week. When I’ve been too focused on work and haven’t had a creative outlet, I’ll have this pent up creative energy that needs an outlet. I also believe strongly in Liz Gilbert’s advice in Big Magic not to put the pressure of making money on creative outlets. My full-time job pays the bills and allows my creativity energy to ebb and flow naturally.
Q. Was your creative side something your mom fostered?
For sure. She was always very creative, loved writing, music, and signing. She let me do any craft I wanted, and she encouraged my love for reading. I remember her vacuuming while I read Ramona books out loud to her as a kid.
My mom also reinvented herself many times. She always had a different job, and she was good at all of them. She had a great creative eye for designing her house on a budget. I get my love of color and eye for detail from her.
Q. You recently started a podcast that touches on the experience of motherless mothering—being a mother after losing your mom. What drew you to tell this story?
My co-host Janelle and I, who have both lost close loved ones including our moms, felt like there is not really space in today’s culture to discuss grief. There’s an expectation that after the funeral, you will return to normal. That’s not how it works. We had this idea that we could talk about our grief in the open with the goal of destigmatizing and normalizing the experience. Grief isn’t something you get over and fix; it’s something you carry in all aspects of your life forever.
Both of our mothers died far too young from hormonal cancers, so there’s an aspect of hormonal health that we are really passionate about and feel hasn’t been addressed completely by Western medicine. We are planning to have hormonal experts on the podcast to educate women on their bodies and the importance of nutrition and holistic medicine.
Q. How did you settle on the podcast format?
My co-host, Janelle, was the driving force. We had started talking on the phone often during the pandemic, and she thought our conversations would be really interesting for people to eavesdrop on. She first brought up the idea when I was two weeks postpartum, and I couldn’t imagine doing it then. She was also six weeks out from giving birth to her own son. But sixteen months after, I felt ready. We’ve found that podcasting has a low barrier to entry, and it’s a way to reach a lot of people quickly.
Q. Has your podcast impacted your parenting in any way?
It’s an oral history for my daughter about some really important things in my life—hopefully teaching her how to be the kind of friend that I value, and teaching her the kinds of conversations you can have with friends. It also has helped me process my own story on a different level, which impacts how I show up emotionally as a parent.
Q. What do you think your mom would say, hearing you speak about your loss and birth experiences?
I think she would be really proud of me. I think she would have a lot of feelings really; she was a very emotional person. She would tell me that I inspire her. She only knew me for 23 years, but she knew me enough to know that I was on this trajectory.
Q. She could see it in you from the Ramona days.
Yes, exactly.
Q. Anything we haven’t talked about that you’d like to add?
A big lesson I’ve learned along the way is how important it is to listen to my intuition instead of everyone else’s opinions. I’m also really grateful that I chose a partner and husband who was really in the decision process with me. I felt supported when I was undecided and when I was sure. So, shout out to Randy. I have also been so blessed with amazing girlfriends over the last ten years, and I am so grateful to be on this journey of motherhood with them.