Back to school:

Wake me up when September ends

Photo by Volodymyr Hryshchenko on Unsplash

Each season has its energy. If spring is hope and summer is cheer, then the turn to September can be whiplash. “Wake me up when September ends,” Green Day sings. In a single week or two, life turns from slow and sun-drenched to energetic and predictable. Change comes in cooler air, blinking “school crossing” lights everywhere (really, there’s a school there too?), and an abundance of work meetings. Of all the seasonal shifts, this one feels to me most like an electric jolt. So how can we navigate the shift without getting thrown off balance?

I spent my childhood getting thrown off balance. I could never understand why other people got excited about back to school. My husband David has tried to explain it to me: As an extrovert, new (and old) faces and places energized him. His college roommate called it his bright-eyed, bushy-tailed look. My look was darker-eyed and tail-first. Returning to school meant people and subjects I didn’t understand yet. Plus, back to school meant the end of summer spent largely swimming in or working at pools—my happy place. I get cranky when happy things end.

I’ve been trying not to let my back-to-school baggage cast shadows over the past week. Noa turned four this week and returned to school on Wednesday, so change is in full swing around here. We thought all was well until she was up for hours on Tuesday night, tossing and turning. Then the next morning, she pulled the covers over her head and proclaimed she would never be going to school. “If you take me to the playground for drop off, I’m going to follow you right back out.” When putting on shoes turned into a major meltdown, I thought we might never make it out the door.

Inch by inch, we did.

In navigating this week, it has helped to remember that this time of year has always felt awkwardly abrupt. But there are ways to help take the edge off:

1) Let it be different for the quiet kids—and quiet grown ups.

I’ve been returning to lessons from Susan Cain’s book Quiet. Back to school can be especially hard on introverts. We like to know people and what we are doing already. This means that we shouldn’t expect to feel energized just because others are. We shouldn’t expect ourselves to hit any strides right away. Let things get easier inch by inch.

2) Pick one thing to energize around

All the buzz of this time of year can feel overwhelming. It’s been helpful to channel the energy I feel in the air into a single focus. First, do the morning routine, then turn to work email. Don’t try to do it all at once.

3) Savor what’s ending without clinging

This time of year can be hard not only because of what’s beginning but because of nostalgia over what’s ending. I felt this acutely as Noa turned four and a happy ache stayed with me all day. A good friend recently asked, “is it strange that I’m already feeling nostalgic for the ages my kids just turned?” Not strange at all. I feel a steady drip of nostalgia on a daily basis, including for each age that Noa will never be again, and I feel it even more on her birthday.

I also think I’ll always feel the warmth leave the air in September like having the wind knocked out of me slowly.

But nostalgia also serves a purpose: It slows us down so we can notice what we loved about what came before. It helps us feel the midday heat still in the air and the sun-kissed glow on our kids’ faces. Nostalgia reminds us that what we love is beautiful not because it will last, but because it won’t.